Be Careful What You Ask For (Part 1)

It was truly a long day yesterday…
I met people I was surely destined to meet
I had conversations I was destined to have,
to express feelings I needed to share
to obtain valuable advice
Then Allah sent me solutions to two very urgent ridiculous problems,
Through two kind souls Allah solved those two problems, just in the nick of time.

I went to bed too sleepy to really take it all in
but thankful for this strangely wonderful mercy from Allah.

Then, this morning I woke to the sound of an incoming text message. It was from overseas.

It was both unexpected and devastating. Someone I trusted had really let me down. The information in that text message had far reaching ramifications.

My first reaction was anger towards that person. How could they have put me in this position? Why weren’t they more honest about the details from the beginning? Why didn’t’ they keep me informed when all along my situation here was growing worse and worse. They lead me into a disaster that could have been avoided. The extent of the disaster spread itself before me similar to the way your life flashes before your eyes during a trauma,
…and the tears began to fall.

My second impulse was to turn the anger towards myself. How could I have allowed myself to be put into this position. Even if I had no reason to doubt that person, why did I take that chance. What a fool. How clear it was that I should not have trusted that person.

I then found myself overwhelmed with panic and I began to sob. I thought ‘what a mess I am in, what am I going to do?’

Why should I have believed I had any amount of security?
Did I really think that person I trusted had total control of their ability to keep their promise?

This was no longer a question of blaming and person or any thing. It had become a time to recognize and pay my respect to the true director of this drama.

I sent this reply to the sender of the bad news:
This is quite serious. I can’t begin to tell you how much trouble I am in now. I feel like four walls are closing in on me. I have absolutely no faith in anything or anyone but Allah. I have no choice but to surrender.

Finally the humility began to take over my body…..

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